I am writing today’s newsletter on my favorite holiday. My birthday.
If you:
Follow me on Instagram
Work with me
Saw me in Starbucks
Heard me at Target
Caught me in Whole Foods
Bumped into me in Barnes & Noble
You know that today is my birthday.
I have done everything but yell about it in a megaphone, and to be honest, I know I can get carried away with it sometimes, but I don’t care.
For me, my birthday always signifies a new chapter in my hopefully long memoir called life. It’s a time to start my new year, set goals, make small intentions, and reflect on the things that I accomplished or learned throughout the year. With that in mind, I have always wanted to be one of those people who uses my reflection time as an opportunity to write a long-winded list about all of the things that I learned in my previous year. However, two things exist with that thought: First, who wants to read it? Secondly, I don’t feel like lying through my list because I definitely didn’t learn 30+ things throughout the year. I did, however, learn a few important lessons that I will carry with me into my new year - and here they are:
There is such a thing as collecting too much information. Figure out what pieces of information are useful and which are just adding to a Rolodex of things you know but find yourself confused by.
Eating protein is your bestie. However, eating your protein goal for the day is harder than it seems. Give yourself options and varieties because, hello, you’re a Libra.
Having both a planner and a budget won’t help you if you don’t use them. This is a duh lesson, but I keep learning this year after year but ignoring the lesson. This year, however, I feel like they have been a neon sign cupid shuffling with me through all my decisions.
Similarly, having a pretty Notion dashboard won’t make you more productive. I have spent many years trying to use Notion to increase my productivity, however, I end up in the same place - making my dashboards pretty. Thus I am finally saying it; Notion may not be the girl for me (but still show me your pretty set-ups if you use it).
Grieving will last a lifetime. As you know, I lost my grandmother earlier this year, and it honestly through me for the loop of my life. Most days, I feel okay, and other days I think of funny memories with her, or her Gumbo, or her Banana Pudding, and have a good chuckle followed by a long cry. I believe this reaction is fine, and I may have different reactions over time. I read Grief is Love: Living with Loss by Marisa Renee Lee (I recommend), and two things she said about grief have really stuck with me:
“Living with loss requires you to give yourself permission to grieve however you want to for the rest of your life… because grief is love, and both love and grief live on.”
“Grief isn’t an emotion that exists solely in the weeks and months after your person’s death. Grief is the repeated experience of learning to live in the midst of a significant loss.”
Social Media isn’t the issue. It’s… me. Nothing new here: I work in social media, yet on a personal level, I have a love/hate battle with social media. The pandemic was my turning point - so much fake news, sad news, or repetitive posts. I kept deleting different social media apps from my phone or my accounts, so I can distance myself from it. I had a real epiphany: I realized social media isn’t the issue; it’s really my lack of boundaries while being on social media. Do with that what you may.
Again with social media, if I am going to be on social media, stop the comparison game. Social media is often a highlight reel of people’s lives, but it’s natural for us to sometimes compare our lives to what we see portrayed. Obviously, we don’t know what happened before or after someone snapped a cute picture of them and bae or of them on an island, and it’s not their job to tell you honestly. Still, with the boundary thing, I need to not compare my life to other people’s because we all have our own journeys. For now, I am going to just keep my two hours of TikTok and drink my coffee.
You can extend grace to people while protecting your space. This was the biggest lesson I learned over and over throughout the year. Sadly but naturally, I have had some growing pains with different relationships, and two things I learned is I can’t change who I am to captain-save-a-relationship that may be on its last leg, and I can’t expect people to treat me how I think I am to them. It’s all perspective, and you just have to meet people where they are. I am no longer interested in over-asserting myself in hopes of keeping relationships afloat. I have clear skin and edges to tame, so I am currently booked and busy in this regard.
If scammers (I know you’ve missed this topic) Anna Delvey or Elizabeth Holmes have taught me anything, it’s to show your confidence, and others will believe you, too. This is basically the idea of faking it until you make it because I have no scammer aspirations. I have worked to channel this energy a little bit more these days by doing little things like
stoppingattempting to stop the confused puppy tilt thing I do on calls when people don’t make sense to me. I’ve also been stepping out of the shadow to show why I am so smart (aside from my Jeopardy viewing).Boob tape doesn’t really work. Self-explanatory, but I really played myself during my summer travel, thinking I found the holy grail.
Here are a few other things that I thought were worth sharing this week:
Similar to my Mellow playlist, my Cozy-Mood playlist is a vibe.
TikTok’s infinite scroll spotlights a growing media literacy crisis, Mashable
The Nap Bishop Is Spreading the Good Word: Rest, NYTimes
Elizabeth Holmes Case Takes on More Drama Ahead of Sentencing, NYTimes
Ole, Elizabeth. Have a seat.
Stacey Abrams’s Last Stand, The Cut
How Colleen Hoover Rose to Rule the Best-Seller List, NYTimes
A Week In Bay Area, CA, On A $120,000, Refinery 29
I always love these, and this one is in my homeland.
That’s all for this week. I’ll holler <3
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Erin, Happy Birthday to you!! You always make me smile/laugh with your posts and also nod in agreement on many things. Love your lessons learned and learning. Yay for you celebrating unabashedly! -- From another October girl.