How to really take a chill pill

Did you used to say that to people before telling them to "talk to the hand," or was that just me?

“Happiness is not really about the amount of free time we have. It depends on how you spend whatever time you have.”

-Author Cassie Holmes

Did you hear the news that we are no longer in a pandemic? I am still baffled by President Joe Biden's proclamation from Monday as many people are still dying from and getting COVID, but I guess… I have many thoughts on this and can go on a huge tangent, but I will say that what I appreciated the most about the pandemic was that it allowed me to chill by myself and do nothing for long stretches of time. By default, as an only child, I love my quality time with myself. I am hilarious and have a zest for life, so the time I spend alone is pretty colorful. Sometimes I used the slower time to be productive, and other times I used it to do nothing at all.

This was what drew me into the new article "How to Be Less Busy" by Catherine Hong in this month's issue of Real Simple Magazine. In the article, Hong lays out a few things you can do to be less busy, including examing the root of your devotion to productivity, saying no more often, clearing away visual distractions, and eating that marshmallow, and I think all were good tips.

Keeping those in mind, I wanted to share some of the things I did/continue to do to be less busy.

Chilling out on the need to plan or be productive 

If you know me, you know I'm a girl who loves her organization. I have a system and a tool for virtually anything, but one thing the pandemic taught me was planning for stuff when you have nowhere to go is like playing in the rain barefoot. That sounded super deep in my head, so I'm just rolling with it, but basically, it means you're not prepared because you have nowhere to go. Initially, when the pandemic started, after I realized that it was going to be longer than two weeks, I thought, let me get a planner to organize myself and my goals to get my life. But then crickets…. no planning happened I just spent money on four planners that I did nothing with (even the very expensive Hobonichi Techo that I was ecstatic about went to waste).

Four planners later, I am still enjoying the fact that my calendar has a lot of blank space, which leaves time for me to read or binge random shows. I finally watched the entire series Nine Perfect Strangers, and honestly, give Regina Hall and Nicole Kidman all the things because wtf?

Sitting here pondering my barefoot in the rain comment

Binge-watched everything 

I have watched more tv during the pandemic than I have my whole life, I’d imagine. And while normally I would say things about being a couch potato, I think my vocabulary has shifted because I’m watching different things. If you’re making yourself less busy, I highly suggest the following things to binge:

• Nine Perfect Strangers again from above

• THE DROPOUT ON HULU, and yes, this is in caps because so good. Amanda Seyfried’s performance in this was so good she got a well-deserved Emmy. Also, I will be writing about this again at some point.

• Sweet Life on HBO because it’s entertaining

• They Call Me Magic on Apple TV

• Everything I Know About Love on Peacock great soundtrack, kind of like I May Destroy You on HBO Max

• Surface on Apple TV

• Gaslit on Showtime

• The And 1 Documentary on Netflix

• Raising Kanan on Showtime - this season is shaping out to be interesting, although Kanan is so naive at times it hurts my heart

• Selena Gomez’ cooking show on HBO Max

Limited my social media use

Instead of spending hours on TikTok watching random videos of people falling or entertaining Deers, I limited my time on TikTok to only two hours per day to give myself more time to do other things. I also deactivated my Twitter account again and often have Instagram deleted on my phone to make more free time for myself to do something I like, like the next item.

I am, however, learning how to make Reels (follow me on IG for when I figure it out fully; this feels like the whole blurb was unnecessary).

Read more

I have always been an avid reader, but I think the pandemic has reinvigorated my love and need for reading. I find now that sometimes when I want to hang out and socialize, although I will do it sometimes, I just read a book. It's like having a friend with you without worrying about tickets (I had three parking tickets in one month. Does anyone else believe that D.C. tries to get you because it's not a state? This could be a theory I made up, but I feel like it's true).

Chasing Habits and creating routines

One of my favorite people I follow on Instagram does this thing where she says she is chasing habits when working out as a way to build consistency. This is something that I have loved, and for the past five months, maybe, I have been pretty consistent with my fitness habit. I have been going to the gym or working out five days a week, and when I feel antsy or need to be faux busy, I've been taking walks to get myself moving. Also, sometimes when I feel bored and want another cup of coffee during the day, if I get or make more coffee, I take myself on a cute little walk before drinking.

Also:

• Slept more

• Set more boundaries with my time

• Found an appreciation for cooking dinners and meal prepping in the morning

• Danced more in the mirror to this playlist

What are some things you do to be less busy?

A few other things worth sharing this week:

I just finished reading Crying in the Bathroom: A Memoir by Erika L. Sanchez, and I loved it. I feel like it gave all the things that make a memoir memorable: it was funny, vulnerable, and heartwarming in parts.

I started reading Omarion’s new book Unbothered on Audible; honestly, his voice is getting on my nerves. And while I’m unsure if I will finish listening to it because, as mentioned, of his voice, I did find some of the journals prompts from the book to be good prompts for me to think about as I journal, such as:

Make a list of your five acts of joy.
Reflect on how you can practice daily joy in your life.
Think about a pivotal moment in your life that encouraged you to change and walk in greater alignment with your purpose.
How are you showing up to live the life you say you want to live?

The Bay Area produces great people *pops collar*, and I can’t stop listening to the new album Results Take Time from bay area based Symba. While at it, check out two great freestyles from Symba, the first with the L.A. Leakers and the more current freestyle on Funk Flex.

Let’s have a round of slow claps for Gwen Bunn’s new-ish album PHASE, which I never shared here but am still listening to after two months. I will admit, I listened to it before RENAISSANCE and then stopped listening because of RENAISSANCE, and now I’m kind of out of the trance, although I listen to “Virgo’s Groove” every single day.

I am still trying to make my way through the new Ari Lennox’s new album age/sex/location, but it’s not capturing me. I know I have said that Ari’s voice sometimes sounds like she’s singing through peanut butter, and while I still support this, for the most part, I think I have finally figured out my issue with her music. It’s the production. The writing is always good and relatable, but the production feels dated to me, like shoulder pads and chunky earrings. BUTTTTTTTT her interview on the Breakfast Club was great. Charlemagne even said it was his favorite interview of the year.

Shaking my head at the shoulder pad reference but…

As a marketer, the power of influence and influencers always interests me. I know at some point, I wonder if digital marketing will sometimes be obsolete. And while that was a dramatic assessment, I still stand by influencers being able to reach consumers more quickly than an ad can, and they don't necessarily need to generate leads. If done right, the world of food influencing can help a restaurant pop, and influencers can earn up to as much as $10,000 for one Instagram post.

An interesting perspective on figuring out what you want out of life.

“When culture provides limited road maps for the future, these life events can seem non-negotiable. External pressure from family, friends, and media further muddies the waters, potentially creating an emotional conundrum when it comes to determining what you really want for the future. Through time and reflection, you can use your values and motivations as guides for a fully authentic life.”

“People should think about how competent, connected, and autonomous they’d feel when faced with certain responsibilities, like parenting.”

Black Women's Equal Pay Day fell earlier this week on September 21st, and this article has some pretty good tips about how black women can navigate pay gaslighting. So GIVE ME ALL MY COINS, HONEY. Also some sentiments around the toll of being the only woman of color at work.

That's it for this week, but I would like to say, being that Libra Season starts tomorrow, it's finally time for me to start mentioning a great fact: my birthday is in 28 days. As well as the birthday of Snoop Dogg, Kamala Harris, Tom Petty, Sunny from The View, and Jennifer Freeman from My Wife and Kids.