Finding the beauty in loss

Dealing with grief, anticipating The Dropout and Fefe Dobson is coming back around

Welcome to Notes From Erin, a newsletter about all things music and reading-related. If you like what you see, consider subscribing - and add me on Instagram or Twitter.

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Last week was a blur for me, so there was no newsletter from me. My grandmother, my Nana, passed away last Tuesday on 2/22/22, while many people set their intentions. I find it ironic that my Nana passed away on that day as I saw many people referring to this day as angel day, which sums up a big chunk of who she was. She was also fun and always full of life and light. She could make you laugh just from hearing her laugh; she did this little cackle crackle thing when she laughed that always made me laugh so much harder. My Nana was one of the lights of my life and one of my most prominent teachers. She taught me many things throughout my life, but two of my favorite things I learned from her are how to be empathetic and how to show up for the people you love. 

I will miss her tremendously and believe that this loss is something I will never get over. I will miss my Nana forever. However, throughout the past week, while crying and laughing over memories, I was able to find some beauty in the loss. Grief in this way reminds me of the line from "In Memoriam A.H.H." by Alfred, Lord Tennyson, that says: "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all," and I feel that at its core. So I rather mourn and grieve the loss of my grandmother than never have had her because, honestly, she was the best.

To show you how cute she was, here’s a pretty picture of us from Senior Prom before me sweating out my fly prom hair going dumb to “Tell Me When to Go.”

See, adorable, right?

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Read: The Women of ‘The Dropout’ Want to Humanize Elizabeth Holmes

I know what you're thinking, "Here's Erin with another note about Elizabeth Holmes," and yeah, here I am. Today, the Hulu series, The Dropout premieres, and I can't wait. If you missed it, here's the trailer, and it looks epic. Amanda Seyfried got Elizabeth's faux deep voice and frantic eyes nailed down. 

Now that I know Rebecca Jarvis is part of the show's creation, it makes me more excited to watch. So, if you haven't walked down the Elizabeth Holmes rabbit hole that I've journeyed through, here are some things for you to dive into: The Bad Blood book by John Carreyrou, the podcast of the same time that John narrates, and Rebecca Jarvis' podcast The Dropout which looks at the rise and fall of Elizabeth as well as the trial. 

From the interview, here were some interesting takeaways. Next week, I will share my thoughts on both this and the Kanye West docu-series, but I would love to hear your thoughts.

“There are a lot of layers and facets and history. I felt like people’s understanding of who she was had been limited to the deep voice and the turtleneck. I was interested in going deeper, and I felt like Rebecca’s podcast was made with that spirit of wanting to figure out what motivated her. It was a really hard tone to figure out. As opposed to other stories of start-ups that have failed, the stakes for this were so high. This was people’s health. This was, in a very primal way, their blood.”
Elizabeth Meriwether

[On what motivated Elizabeth] “Belief. Our imaginations are wild, if we exercise them. I chose to just, as this character, believe in everything. And when I was told that something wasn’t true, I doubled down.
Amanda Seyfried

“She was an outlier. Most female founders do not raise the kind of money she raised. And on the way down, she’s an outlier as well. There hasn’t been a fraud trial like this. There’s a fascination when somebody is different and they find a way to break through. People want to understand why and what it is that makes them special.”
Rebecca Jarvis

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Listen: Lauren London ON: Trauma, Spirituality & How to Recover From Loss

This was my first time listening to Jay Shetty’s, On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast, and I loved this episode with actress Lauren London. In this episode, London talks about her childhood and upbringing, dealing and moving through grief and trauma, and her journey with faith. I was touched by this episode and found Lauren so vulnerable and beautiful - worth a listen.

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Listen: I Don’t Want to Break Up But I Need Some Space

Another podcast episode that I thought was very interesting was Shan Boodram’s episode on LAT couples which are couples in intimate relationships but choose to live apart. In the episode, Shan interviewed someone in a LAT and Open relationship who shared some pretty interesting perspectives. Also, in the episode, Shan interviewed her parents, who she believes have had a LAT relationship at times. Her father’s views were interesting to hear in the context of the other person who Shan interviewed.

Read: New Way to Partner Up: Living Apart

To continue with the theme of LAT relationships from above, I read this article and found it interesting. The article talks about how some older couples choose to adopt a LAT lifestyle, so they don't have to focus on caregiving and similar relationships in the later years of their lives.

“These older adults are seeking (and finding) love, emotional support, and an antidote to loneliness. But many older women, in particular, fear that a romantic attachment in later life will shortly lead to full-time caregiving. To avoid this role, some seek to meet their social needs solely from their relationships with family members and friends.”

“As researchers study those who do partner, however, they find that increasing numbers are choosing a kind of relationship known as LAT (rhymes with cat), for “living apart together.” These are long-term committed romantic relationships without sharing (or intending to share) a home.”

“LAT relationships, anecdotally it seems to be more prevalent among those at high enough socioeconomic levels to be able to maintain separate households.”

“I think it’s important for women to know it is OK to not want to serve as a caregiver and to still hold value as women in society,” she said. Full-time caregiving “takes a significant physical and emotional toll on someone,” she noted.”

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Read: Fefe Dobson’s Revival

My teenage self is so excited to see that Fefe Dobson is back and making music after all of these years. I remember when I first discovered her with “Take Me Away” at some All-Star weekend performance, and I was hooked. I believe “Bye Bye Boyfriend” is still a smash to this day, and it makes me feel good whenever I listen to it. I enjoyed this interview with Fefe and can’t wait for new music from her.

“As time progressed, I love my lips, I love my butt, I love my hips. I’m a beautiful woman and every day I grow and I’m really learning who I am. As a young girl, I could have been educated and taught that I was beautiful.”

“It’s hard to create something brand new; we pull from inspirations, and it was about time for this genre to bounce back. With the world where it’s at, we need this kind of music — we’re in a place of wanting to be honest and have some rebellious music and raw energy.”

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Here are a few more links I thought were worth sharing this week:

• Listen: My Cozy playlist is still being updated weekly

• Listen: Two Maggie Rogers Mixtapes: Mixtape 001: Dawn and Mixtape 002: Dusk

• Read: The Art of Friendship: How to Navigate Your Differences

• Read: Productivity Gurus are the Instagram Influencers of Capitalism

• Read: When Your Friends Fall off the Edge of The Earth

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