Today is a special day in the hearts of many; it's my birthday.
There's something about getting older that is endearing to me. For some, its scary and serves as a reminder of things they have yet to accomplish. But for me, each passing year is a reason to celebrate and to be grateful for being here. I look forward to getting closer to my slate gray bob, which I am hopeful for, and gaining more wisdom. Of course, there are things I thought I would have accomplished by now, but in the words of my physical therapist from over a decade ago:
“People plan their lives while they are living it. You're where you're supposed to be.”
So I’m thankful.
With age comes wisdom. The older I get, I have got wiser and outgrown many things, including:
Being a Drake fan. His voice is annoying, and most of his songs sound the same. Of course, there are outliers, but essentially, Drake, for me, is like a carnival without Funnel Cake - lackluster.
Wearing smaller bras and jeans just to avoid looking at the number or band size on them. I’ve come to realize my body will fluctuate throughout my life, and while sometimes this is costly, I am grateful that I can save the lives of people with my thick thighs. Also, why be uncomfortable when I can just be cute?
The need to wear the highest heel, or shortest dress when I can be comfortable (told you issues ago that I was in my cute and comfortable era).
Dark lip liner and clear gloss
Blue eye shadow with dark lip liner and clear lip gloss
Also, colored contacts… silence here, I know.
With that being said, in honor of my birthday, I wanted to highlight one lesson I learned over the last 364 days and share five of my big goals for my personal new year. I’m basically treating you as an accountability buddy — yay for friendship.
Biggest Lesson: Lean into Gratitude
The most significant lesson that I learned in the past year was from something sad. Last week, one of my parent’s closest friends passed away. Whenever I saw her, she was always in good spirits - talking, dancing, and laughing. When I checked in with my stepmom to express my condolences, she was in a positive mood and thankful that her friend had a beautiful life. She basically said:
“She lived a beautiful life: she traveled, lived, and loved.”
I thought that was beautiful. I think we always get these little reminders of how short life is, but sometimes you just forget because you’re living life. So from this conversation, I learned one big lesson and gained a few goals:
Don’t count out experiences.
Lean into love and lean into gratitude.
While I'm not confident I can keep a gratitude journal, I want to start sharing more gratitude and maybe do some gratitude logging, even in my Notes app.
Five goals for my New Year
Learn how to swim
I always say that I have had pretty traumatic experiences with water, but I think they have been dramatic experiences because I don’t know how to float without glasses. I have fallen out of one of those circular things in the lazy river at Water World and lost my glasses and couldn’t figure out how to float back up, and also in Hawaii, I went down a water slide and momentarily lost my glasses and couldn’t figure out how to get back up. I also had an overprotective father who always would say things like “Don’t stand too close to the edge.” Due to all of those things, I just avoid the water.
This year, however, I want to learn so I can be free. I spend so much time avoiding things like walking in the water at the beach because I don’t want a big wave to come and encapsulate me and take me into the deep part of the water. I want to go paddle boarding or ride on ferries without the fear of falling in the water. Yes, I realize those are extreme things; however, you never know.Don’t let fear hold me back - aligned to number one, but I want to bet on myself and stop being so fearful of rolling my fictional dice.
Use money for experiences, not cell phone cases, planners, and notebooks.
Honey, if you saw the amount of cell phone cases I purchased, you’d be like, wtf? I have started giving them to friends and selling them on Poshmark, but I want to travel more and not be in debt because I want a cute phone. (Not literally in debt because of cases, but you know what I mean).
Again with money and my favorite B word that I’m always writing about, I want to do more than just budget; I want to kick my budget in the ass and hit some financial targets I’ve been working towards. I want to be debt-free and own something more than several planners and cell phone cases.
Not entertain things or people that bring chaos into my life.
This is self-explanatory, but I spend a lot of time talking to people from my past or debating with people who I know don’t need to be in my life. Thankfully, I have some great friends, so I want to lean more into the relationships that serve me vs. entertaining the chaotic ones that I nurture just so I don’t look rude. I am opting to let toxicity go like Elsa.
I have other goals, like paying off my car note and living without a car note for a while, continuing on my health journey, and other things, but those are just a few of the big ones.
*I did achieve one of my goals yesterday, however, by adding color to my hair. Not sure why this was a goal, but I’ve always wanted to dye my hair to change my look and look:
There’s more color in the back but yay! I also am not from Houston, but this is my hair shop sweatshirt.
While I have been told that I shouldn’t tell people what to get me for my birthday because I guess it’s rude or something, here are two perfect gifts if you’re thinking of getting your girl a gift:
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Here are a few other things I thought were worth sharing this week:
I am almost finished reading Rich Paul’s “Lucky Me”, and I am loving it. So far, one thing that has stuck with me while reading this book is the lessons Rich learned from his dad, even gambling, and how that helped instill a level of tenacity and hustle in him. I’ll be writing about this book in next week’s issue.
I am tired of Jada Pinkett but did get a copy of her new book, “Worthy,” via Libby. I reserved it in August before she kept running her mouth about Will and Tupac. I will also report on this book in the coming weeks.
Last celebrity memoir, I read Kerry Washington’s new book, “Thicker Than Water,” a few weeks ago and didn’t enjoy it. Curious if anyone else has read it, and what your thoughts were. Send me a note - would love to discuss.
I know I keep talking about cancelling my Spotify membership, but, the new daylist playlist I am obsessed with. It essentially pulls in music that you’ve listened to and curates a playlist based on that with a few additions. It’s been cool seeing how different people’s lists are. At work a few weeks ago, mine was called “For the soul modern R&B Thursday afternoon,” while my friend’s was called “Nervous Thursday.” It also updates three times per day *gold star for Spotify.*
Jessel Taank is the moment. If you watch RHONY, then you know.
Interesting read on a love/life balance.
I have been winging myself off of coffee. Instead of having two to three cups of coffee, I’ve been trying to do other things to eliminate the coffee consumption so this was a timely read.
That’s it for this week. I’ll be back next week but until then:
Your goal #3 has me so weak but I am proud of you! Happy Birthday!!! ✨😊