Finding joy in the year
The raunchiest year to date, finding moments of joy, and things to read/watch.
2020 has been a pretty fucked up year. This year has been full of pain, sadness and it’s often hard to not feel a bit jaded or overwhelmed when talking about the year. This year alone we have lived through more racial unrest, natural disasters and unprecedented pandemic due to the Coronavirus which has taken the lives of over 199K Americans, 1M people globally, infected 6.79M Americans and created a huge spike in unemployment rates.
Yet people still don’t think it exists and are not wearing a mask. I had a conversation with someone who told me that the government is evoking fear in us vs. giving us all the facts.
That being said, it’s expected that your feelings and emotions would ebb and flow during this time. It’s important that we encourage people to wear a mask and to vote, but it’s also important that we carve out time for things that make us happy and spark joy for us. Yes, I am using a Marie Kondo phrase because it’s too good.
Here are a few things that have sparked joy for me or things I learned during this turbulent time. Let me know yours in the comment section.
The only person you need to get dolled up for is yourself. I put on makeup to take random selfies around the house or to admire myself on Webex calls — sounds vain but me, myself and my facial expressions are entertaining.
I have learned that I am an amazing cook. Well amazing is putting twenty on ten, but I am a pretty solid home chef if I toot my own horn (beep, beep honey). I’ve upgraded my stir-fry for an air-fryer and things I can’t fry in a skillet which is everything—frying isn’t my ministry.
In terms of friendship, distance does make the heart grow fonder. I have found that I have missed my friends so hard, that when I see them or speak to them, the theme song to Girlfriends plays in my head like we are reliving a scene from the show—hope you’re watching on Netflix. This time has also made me nurture and celebrate my friendships a little deeper. Yes, I always send my friends cards in the mail and talk to my besties throughout the week but I think scheduling in FaceTime dates or having more pulse checks has in a way, strengthened our already strong bonds. Conversely, this time has ended some friendships naturally, and that’s fine as well.
I’ve never had a cleaner apartment. I’ve always been clean and hated clutter but I’ve gone through three bottles of Fabulouso during this time which is unprecedented. I shuffled my living room in the beginning of the stay at home orders, and after watching The Home Edit on Netflix I went balls to the walls in organization. So far, I have reorganized my under sink space, made an under bed shoe rack and even organized my vitamins which is slightly overkill but YOLO.
No bra life is peak freedom. Sorry boys but you just don’t understand this level of joy. I tried to think of things that could be comparable but all I could think of is taking off too tight boxers or doing something impressive with a car. It’s amazing to roam through the world so free.
Here are a lot of the things I consumed lately that I think you should as well:
Things to Listen to:
There has been such great music released lately which doesn’t include the new Alicia Keys album Alicia — her voice is always meh to me but the album cover is cute. This list of great music starts with music coming from my homeland which includes: GQ’s A Midsummer’s Nightmare, Kevin Allen’s Heroes Eventually Die, and Kamaiyah & Capolow’s Oakland Nights.
I’ve also been listening to Conway the Machine’s new album From King to a GOD and to amorphous’ Beyonce and Kaytranada album which is a vibe. I think it’s only right that Kaytranada produces a song for the next Beyonce album is her opening act on tour whenever we can go to concerts again.
Things to Watch:
Over the past two weeks, I watched a few things that I think you should check out as well. First would be my friend Ali’s new YouTube series Tacos and Tastemakers which combines three things I love: music, tacos and conversation. For the first episode he interviewed Tim Wilson who owns Urban Lights Music in Saint Paul, MN which is the first place Ali purchased vinyl from. They talk about Tim’s early hip-hop beginnings, and much more - be sure to subscribe.
I also watched two documentaries that I enjoyed on two completely different sides of the spectrum: Ruff Ryders Chronicles on BET and Paris Hilton’s YouTube documentary, This is Paris. Paris’ documentary was interesting but I highly suggest watching the Ruff Ryders documentary series which follows the rise, fall and rebirth of the record label Ruff Ryders that housed artists DMX, The Lox, Eve, Swizz Beatz, Jin and a few more artists. I grew up listening to a lot of the music from the label, but never really knew the inner workings of the label the way we know about Roc-A-Fella or Bad Boy. Such a good watch - I never knew DMX’s backstory which was very interesting to hear about, in particular how his childhood trauma shaped his adulthood and showed patches within his career.
Things to Read:
I recently read two different articles that will stay with me for awhile. First was Emily Ratajkowski’s essay, “Buying Myself Back?” Emily is a model and wrote the article for The Cut and details the ways in which her identity has been exploited throughout her years as a model. This was done by photographers, artists and even romantic partners. There were two lines in particular that stayed with me after reading:
And I have learned that my image, my reflection, is not my own.
All these men, some of who I knew intimately and others I’d never met, were debating who owned an image of me.
Another article that I really enjoyed was NYTimes’ interview with comedian/actor Chris Rock. I’ll end here but this blurb about racism was really a word.
Humanity isn’t progress — it’s only progress for the person that’s taking your humanity. If a woman’s in an abusive relationship and her husband stops beating her, you wouldn’t say she’s made progress, right? But that’s what we do with Black people. We’re constantly told that we’re making progress. The relationship we’re in — the arranged marriage that we’re in — it’s that we’re getting beat less.
Other things worth reading:
That’s it for now!
cute newsletter boo! (i'm late!) I need to check out Home edit and that Ruff Ryders show